Part 2:  Core Value Living – maintaining your personal integrity

Do you ever remember anyone asking you:  “What are your personal standards?”  “What kind of person do you want to be?” “What standards of behaviour meets with your approval?”

These are questions that are so important to answer so your partner can depend on you and you have some guide or map to how you will engage in your relationships.

Learning to be your best self is important.  Having personal standards and integrity with ourselves and our partners can help shape the atmosphere of our relationships.

Think about a person or persons whose behaviour/characteristics you admire?  What do they do when faced with a difficult decision? How do they react in a tense situation? What do they say/act when they are with you? How do you want people to remember you?  These questions might be the building blocks of your core values.

Core values then need to be reflected in your behaviour so what is on the inside is seen by those on the outside.  Ask yourself: how do I behave when I care about someone?  Do I tell them?  Perhaps I perform helpful acts?  When I am in a difficult situation, how do I act?  Am I calm? Do I keep my voice low?  Do I stand up for myself in a way that allows the other person not to feel diminished?

Ideally, we want to be in relationships where both of us are living true to our core values and personal standards.  However, feeling good about ourselves means that regardless of how our partners shows up, we maintain our own standards.  This allows us to hold our heads up and feel good about ourselves.  And in the long run, feeling good about ourselves is a pretty great way to live in the world.